


and the crown it weighs heavy

by blushingprince



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Azure Moon Route, Established Relationship, Eye Trauma, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Instability, Short One Shot, Trauma, dimitri's eye patch comes off
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:01:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24865708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blushingprince/pseuds/blushingprince
Summary: post azure moon, Felix makes Dimitri take some time off for himself and it the solitude makes things worse
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	and the crown it weighs heavy

It’s surely been another long night for Dimitri, and Felix watched the new sunlight of the day cradle his face as he slept. It would not be long before he awoke. Dimitri was a studious and attentive king never slacking from his duties. He was fully devoted to restoring his kingdom and the whole of Fodlan. Felix admired him, he did, he simply often hoped that Dimitri would take more time for himself. He saw how the weight of the crown rested on his shoulders and Dimitri only took more steps forward. Felix basked in the early morning glow of the day and is it slipped through the drapery and watched the silhouette of Dimitri’s face. He’d come so far in the past years. Felix felt an immense swelling of pride and love watching him.  _ They’d  _ come so far. He recalled those first times together, all ravenous touches and hindered emotion. While they still kept their relationship under wraps nowadays, Felix reveled in awe at moments that they had come to a point where they could finally discuss their feelings. At times it scared him how much Dimitri meant to him.

He should wake Dimitri, he should. But sometimes it was nice to simply watch. Dimitri needed his sleep as well. After what seemed like only a moment, the king’s brow began to wrinkle, his eyelids crinkling and fluttering open. He greeted Felix with a smile so warm Felix could feel it melting him. Felix lowered his head to meet the man with a chaste kiss, one that Dimitri welcomed eagerly and threaded his fingers through Felix’s loose hair. 

“Good morning,” Dimitri mumbled tenderly into Felix’s neck, eyes spilling over with adoration.

“Yea,” Felix replied, leaning into Dimitri’s touch, still a little embarrassed at how affectionate he was. Felix relaxed into his lover’s touch and waited for a good moment to broach the subject. He didn’t quite want to ruin the moment, but it needed to be done. He was here to be Dimitri’s signpost, after all. “Did you get the day off, Dimitri?”

“Oh, Felix,” Dimitri chuckled while placing sleepy kisses across the expanse of his neck. “That is quite a lot to ask for a king. Let’s have breakfast,” 

Felix wouldn’t deny he was enjoying Dimitri’s treatment, but he’d be damned if he didn’t make his point heard. No matter how obnoxious he had to be. “Dimitri,” he began, “you’ve been working yourself to the bone for the past couple of weeks. I know. I’ve seen it. Staying up late, no breaks. You need time for yourself. It’s for your health.”

Dimitri paused his painting of kisses on Felix. “Well, the Kingdom needs me. I can’t slack from my duty,” his voice neutral.

Felix drew a breath. “That’s not the point. You barely sleep, Dima. You never take breaks. I see the toll it takes on you. I know you want to be a good king, and you  _ are.  _ That’s why you need some time for yourself.” 

Dimitri sighed. And again. And again. “Do you…..Do you already have my schedule cleared?”

Felix grimaced. “I know this is hard.”

“What am I supposed to do today, then?” His voice came out frustrated and raggedy. “Will you be here?”

Felix tried to start and paused. He didn’t account for this error. But it’s not like he could simply sit around with Dimitri all day - he too was an important person in the Kingdom. “You should go back to sleep. I can have breakfast brought up.”

Dimitri, clearly agitated, pulled the covers back over himself and turned away from Felix, choosing to brood. Felix sighed and decided to leave for the day. He had been planning this for weeks and knew that Dimitri needed a break more than anyone. He had no conception of a work-life balance. And Felix  _ cared  _ so much. Felix saw how Dimitri worked late into the night, how he made no time for himself, how he worked himself to the bone. It was part of his nature - Dimitri felt intense devotion and responsibility to be a good king. But sometimes Dimitri worked too hard and someone needed to be there before things got worse than bad and Dimitri’s moods became uncontrollable. Felix knew he was doing the right thing, knew he was taking care of Dimitri, but hated seeing him upset. If only the idiot was better at taking care of his own damn self! Someone needed to make sure that Dimitri wasn’t absolutely destroying himself with his load of work. 

_______________

Felix returned late afternoon to check on Dimitri with some of his favorite chamomile tea. He had read how it had relaxing properties and thought it would be a great addition. Opening the door to their bedroom, he wondered if Dimitri was there and if he had even listened to him. Felix immediately saw him by the smaller desk he had installed in the room. Something about him seemed colder, more distant. Felix panicked inside and set the tea down safely.

“Dimitri?” he called out.

“Did you have fun running the kingdom today?”

Felix frowned. “You know it’s not like that.”

“Well of course. I only overwork myself and create trouble. But you are so adept and fixing everything. Good Felix. Perfect Felix. Perhaps you are more suited to become king.” 

Felix steeled himself to Dimitri’s words and approached Dimitri. Had he slept at all? “Nobody thinks of you in that way,”

Dimitri seemed deep in thought. “But I…..I only…”

Felix stood close enough to him, testing the waters and only a hairsbreadth away. He reached out and held Dimitri’s face in his hands. “Dima, you are an amazing and wonderful king. It’s okay to need some time to yourself.”

“I….”

He looked down into Dimitri’s eyes. Deep cerulean eyes that were fired by passion and so much sadness.  _ But maybe he doesn’t know what to do by himself. Maybe leaving him by himself is worse. _

“Did you sleep at all?”

“I couldn’t…” Dimitri admitted.

“C’mon,” Felix tugged on Dimitri’s shoulder. “We’ll go to bed right now,”

“In the middle of the day?”

“Who cares?” Felix threw off a few layers of clothing in a manner of minutes. It seemed like Dimitri hadn’t quite dressed for the day. He opened the covers and scooted Dimitri underneath. Felix lay beside him and watched him carefully.

“Is this better?” Felix asked.

Dimitri looked a tad bit out of place. “I think,”

Felix paused. Was there something else bothering him? He had seemed so happy this morning and then it all changed. “What else is wrong?”

Dimitri was silent for a long time, but then he spoke up. “I had a bad dream.”

Felix was silent and waited for him to continue. “It was about my eye. The eye I don’t have. It’s just……….it’s just……” He trailed off incoherently. 

Felix watched the silky eyepatch. It was rare to ever see Dimitri without it. This was a rare conversation. He had helped Dimitri with other things, but this sort of incident left him a bit perplexed. 

“What do you need?” he tried, softening his voice. “Do you want to take the eyepatch off?”

Dimitri curled in on himself, seeming horrified from the suggestion. “Would you not be revolted? To see what is underneath?”

His mind went blank. How could he be disgusted by any part of Dimitri? They had been through so much together. He had helped the man with so much and seen varying sides of him. Nothing could turn him away. 

“I would never be disgusted by you, you idiot,” he managed.

As they lay facing each other, Dimitri’s face grew mournful. “I feel as if I am always waiting for the moment you grow disgusted of me. The moment you finally get sick of me,”

“Well, it’s never going to happen. I am never going to leave you ever. Get that in your head,” 

Dimitri face contorted with shock. “You truly feel that way?”

“Yes, idiot. When are you going to understand?” Felix’s voice became impatient. “I will go with you anywhere. I will follow you anywhere. You don’t disgust me. I will  _ never  _ get sick of you,”

Dimitri blinked in surprise. “Felix I…..I didn’t know…”

Felix sighed. “I guess I just have to keep telling you,”

Dimitri smiled, just a tad bit. “I’m lucky to have someone like you at my side. Felix, you should take it off. The eyepatch, I mean. You’re the only one I would have,”

Felix paused. Dimitri had  _ never  _ allowed him to do anything remotely close to that before. He had to carefully consider it. His fingers drew closer to Dimitri’s face and began to untie the fabric. The king leaned into the touch. Finally, Felix pulled away the patch and saw the messy, hollow eye socket which was sewn shut. It was grotesque, to say the least. No one spoke for what seemed like forever. 

Felix stared, he watched, He raised his fingers to gently touch the skin. It was cool and soft to the touch. Then, after what seemed like minimal contemplation, he raised his lips to Dimitri’s and placed a kiss on the missing eye. Silence enveloped the two of them and tears began to spill from the king. He wrapped his arms around Felix and leaned into him, a shallow sob coming from his throat, a cry of Felix’s name. Felix held him tightly and would never let go. They stayed like that for what seemed like forever, Felix holding the king and soothing his sobs. Eventually, Dimitri drifted off into sleep and Felix pressed a kiss to him. 

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to explore Dimitri's trauma and mental illness in the confines of being king. I feel like he would be more insecure and struggle more with his problems than is usually portrayed. I also feel like Dimitri would have so much pressure and obligation to be a good king that it would eat him up. I like the idea of Felix learning to be a bit more gentle to help Dimitri with his problems. the title is from a Florence and the Machine song "too much is never enough"


End file.
